Our nation’s youth are in crisis. They have no frame of reference when it comes to healthy relationships. One out of every four teens have no father in the home. This is not to say that the remaining 75% of teens living in two parent households have a front row seat to a healthy marriage. Considering our cultural climate, it could be that as much as half of today’s teens have no positive male influence when it comes to relationships.
Who then is the dominant influence when it comes to sex, sexuality, and relationships? According to Forbes, teens spend about 8-9 hours per day in front of a screen. Many of the students we address in class tell us that they spend this much on their phone alone. Social media has a lot to say on all these subjects and obviously much of that is garbage. On top of that, internet pornography is an epidemic, a leviathan that may never be destroyed. All these things teach students about relationships that simply are wrong and unrealistic.
The Bible does not actually call men to be leaders. It says that they ARE leaders. Every man will impact those around him. The question is, how? Is he going to abandon his family and lead them into a life of chaos and destruction? Or is he going to come home from work, crack open a beer or twelve, turn the game on, and tune out? Or maybe he is abusive? Just because he is present, doesn't mean that he is leading his family well. Nonetheless, the bible says he IS the leader. His actions are LEADING his family into chaos.
There are so many good fathers out there and praise God for them. But given that this is not the case for so many students, I take my role in CE very seriously. I do my best to teach kids about what a healthy relationship looks like and how a healthy marriage can do so much good for their lives. I might be the only positive male influence when it comes to teaching on this topic. I am praying that God uses me to influence the next generation of fathers to be fathers on purpose. To get married, have children, have joyful and loving homes, and hopefully find Jesus.
This is what will drastically change Modesto. Children growing up in fatherless homes are more likely to commit violent crimes and to abuse drugs and alcohol. If we wish to see our community improve, we must influence the next generation to create loving families. I hope that when I talk as a father to future fathers, they are inspired to have what I have. While we are forbidden to discuss our faith in the public school, I hope and pray that they figure out that I only have my lovely wife because of Jesus. I only have my three beautiful, healthy, hilarious kids, because of Jesus. I did nothing to deserve them, but Jesus blessed me anyway. The state presents us from “planting the seed” as evangelicals like to say, but they cannot stop us from showing them the fruit. My goal is that students see the fruit of a Christ-centered marriage relationship and then ask us where they can get the seeds.
Written by Dustin Van Vliet, Community Educator